Journal of Joyful Juxtaposition

Fields of Weeds

2010-07-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

As i was sipping my tea one hot desert morning, i saw a vision: I saw a vast expanse of land all tilled and sowed and tended, but not of crops... weeds!!!! Weeds of Resentment! These were some of the fields i had planted over the years and have been maintaining with diligence and care. My subconscious always nurturing and cultivating these fields of hurt and anger and bitterness. Some are not even my fields! Others have planted here and i have dutifully nurtured their weeds!!! I have fertilized and watered these thoughts and stories of the past, weeds... nothing but weeds as far as my eye could see!!! (Now not all my fields are weeds mind you, i have beautiful, bountiful fields as well, full of wonderful fruit, but today i saw these fields, the weed fields) I sat on the mesa of my soul and looked out over the expanse of weeds! No wonder my soul and body are so tired! I have all these stories of hurt and woundedness draining my valuable resources! Wow. I sure have wasted a ton of time and energy upon these fields! I was blessed to be given this land, fertile and precious. Why have i chosen again and again to plant so much of it in weeds?

But there was some new action in these old fields, new tools, new machinery... and a new plan! Some of those fields had recently been weeded, and roto-tilled! They are turned over and waiting for new crop! There is massive reconstruction of the field rotations! Some of the old weed fields are being transferred over to make room for crops!!!! Thank You God!!!!! With all my heart and soul, i encourage and magnify this work! Willing and determining that more and more fields be torn up and replanted with Love, Joy, Peace, Understanding, and Courage! I chose to rewrite my life stories as they arise, and ask the Holy Spirit to rewrite those long forgotten. I ask for guidance as i chose the new plants to fill this valuable space. Plants that bring hope and joy and peace to me, my family and my world. Fields filled with Love and Beauty! Fields full of bounty and grace. Fields overflowing with God’s goodness!

Shoes

2009-03-09T13:24:00.001-07:00

Ahhhhhh! Finally i found my way out or is it in?

2009-02-26T22:42:00.003-08:00

So being the techno challenged person i am, i was baffled in my feeble attempts to get back on my own blog and post!?!?! I can't believe how easy it was tonight! My previous attempts must have been a comedy break for my angels. All i can say is i am so thankful they were helping me tonight.

This is a great sign of things to come!

So my friends that lost faith, guess what, i think we are back in business. Yeah!

Ahhhhhh! Finally i found my way out or is it in?

2009-02-26T22:42:00.001-08:00

Change Vs. Growth

2008-04-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

"you said you were going to change..."

How many times have i heard that? And from how many sources?How many times have i said that to myself even? often we do not mean that word Change as in small incremental steps forward, small tweaks to our strengths so they can bring us more joy and fulfillment instead we mean it as a drastic 180 degree drastic denial of who we are...

Hmmmmmm.

So, it's not about CHANGE as much as it's about GROWTH.

If you think, "I'm going to change."

you Lie.

We can't change ourselves.

We only Grow.

I can only become my very Best ME.

We can't change who we are, we can't change our gifts or our short comings. what we can do is grow in all areas of our life. And yes that is change but as a by product not the goal.

An acorn can not say I will BE a MUSTARD SEED! No amount of intention, prayer, work, new habits, etc will bring about that change. It just isn't going to happen. But the acorn can and should say:

I am going to grow TODAY. I am going to push down my roots as far as i can today. i am going to stretch as high as i can today. i am going to reach as far as i can today. i am going to grow as many leaves as i can today.

And in this way i am going to become all i can be today! And in this way I AM GOING TO CHANGE from a dormant Acorn to a live and vibrant Oak tree.

2008-04-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

Resentment is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die.

---anonymous

The color of God

2008-04-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

A thought that hit me a couple years back:

I do not think God is white.

I do not think God is black.

I think God is Purple (and it kinda bums me out that Barney is too.)

My soul follows close behind You

2008-02-17T08:56:00.000-08:00

Psalm 63:1b

Early will I seek You...

ahh i finally awoke early today. What peace there is in the quiet, undisturbed moments before the world awakes.

Ps 63:8a

My soul follows close behind You...

I love days like today, when I do feel close behind my Lord. I am surrounded by His essence, by the sweet fragrance of His Love. You know how you can catch waves of someone's scent when you follow behind them, that is how I feel today. I can catch My Great Creator's scent upon the winds of life. My troubles are still here, my burdens are still upon my back and upon my mind. Yet, His fragrance wafts around me and it all seems lighter somehow, I am energized and rejuvenated by the scent of His Love.

Whatever Happened to Narrow Rule Paper?

2008-02-16T10:05:00.000-08:00

Hey, whatever happened to Narrow Rule Paper?

So i went searching for narrow rule paper a while back. i mean i actually went from store to store looking for narrow rule. i honestly must have been out to lunch when this option for self-expression disappeared! i really have no idea when the memo went out that narrow rule was no longer going to be produced. where was i? i would have stocked up! isn't it discriminating to all those individuals who have tiny handwriting? i think of all my friends throughout my school years who had tiny handwriting and i think what on earth are they doing for paper? somewhere in the free market system the option for this whole personality type dwindled and died. are there really so few individuals with detail oriented handwriting, that this product became extinct?

Surprise, surprise...My handwriting changes with my mood. i am ever consistent in my variety. some days i want wide rule for my round and flowing letters, sometimes i like college rule for my tall and squished thoughts, but there are days i really miss narrow rule for my precise, meticulous moments. on these days, my words and thoughts seem insignificant and lost in the large expanse of white.

Hmm who deemed narrow rule obsolete? Or am i just struggling in a regional demise? is narrow rule thriving out there somewhere?